Of Strawberries and Fishcakes
by Dadlop3
Summary: A Ninja, a Shinigami, and their Spirits walked into a Hunter filled Academy... "Wait, what?" Naruto x Bleach x RWBY crossover. Plot? Maybe. Chaos? Most definitely. Discontinued


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Bleach, the picture, or RWBY.**

* * *

 _ **Day 1**_

 _I passed my exam! Can you believe it? I sure can't! That's right. I'm now a certified god! Or goddess in my case. Oh well. Details details._

 _Anyhow! I was finally allowed entry into the_ _ **Divine Hall**_ _where I got to meet with ALLL of the gods and goddesses from across soooo many different dimensions! Kami, God, and Hades were some of the few that I've met. Hades was surprisingly easy to get along with when he wasn't working._

 _Zeus filled me in the fact that, as gods and goddesses, they have a certain role to play in the whole 'Good vs Evil' thing going on in the universe. The only reason Hades and them were evil was because they literally drew the short end of the straws…_

 _Ouch._

 _Can't help but feel sorry for them._

 _And after they've been assigned their roles, they have to live with it until their worlds come to an end. So for now, when Zeus, Hades, and all the Greek gods and goddesses are 'working', they have to end up fighting and possibly kill each other over and over and over again._

 _That must make family dinner totally awkward._

 _I got off track…_

 _What was I talking about again?_

 _Oh right!_

 _As a goddess myself, I too have to take care of a world and do all that good stuff. Man. Too much work. Still, I get to take care of a world! How exciting is that?! The world that I've been assigned to is called_ _ **Remnant**_ _. Right now, it's nothing more than a volcanic wasteland._

 _Ughhhh._

 _This is going to be so much paperwork._

* * *

 _ **Year 5**_

 _My feet are burnt and swollen. Seriously, WHY IS MAGMA SO HOT?! Oh woe is me… T_T_

 _Anyways, I've finally finished making a thorough trip around and through_ _ **Remnant**_ _, checking and analyzing the materials and terrain I'm working with. The stuff here is similar to many of the materials found in the other world except for this weird magic-like substance in the form of crystal that I found buried beneath the planet. I can see my own reflection in it! Shiny~…_

 _Ahem. Anyways, I've decided to name this stuff_ _ **Dust**_ _. Not exactly sure what it does yet. All I know is that the red-colored crystals can make an AMAZING spice! Add so much favor to this bland food I brought along. I should have stocked up on pizza or something… Sigh._

 _Maybe I can make pizza after all with these crystals…_

…

 _To the workshop!_

* * *

 _ **Year 20**_

 _After a longggg search, I've finally found a place to set up my base of operation._

 _The_ _ **Moon**_ _!_

 _The view here is amazing! I can see the whole planet from up here! The view isn't that great though. The magma have yet to completely cool down despite all my efforts in the terraforming._

 _What? I'm a goddess, not a miracle worker. Someone else already has that job. Lucky duck…_

 _Anyways, the **Moon** is the only place I could find in which I didn't have to worry about my stuff being melted, or place exploding into tiny pieces because the lava came into contact with the red-crystals…_

 _I think I'll rename it to_ _ **Fire Dust**_ _._

 _I'm so~ good at this!_

 _Oh crap._

 _There goes another eruption on_ _ **Remnant**_ _._

 _Maybe I should try and see how the blue-crystals will work on them?_

* * *

 _ **Year 50**_

 _So apparently these crystal each hold a specific element in them that correspond with their natural color. Red is fire, blue is water, green is air, and brown is earth and so on. Of course, I could use these elements as well without needing these crystal but I wanted to experiment with them._

 _Surprising, by combining certain elements, you can make a new elements all together. For instance,_ _ **Fire**_ _and_ _ **Water**_ _ **Dust**_ _, when combined of course, made_ _ **Steam**_ _!_

 _The indoor sauna I made was amazing~ after steam was added._

 _What? A goddess has needs too you know…_

* * *

 _ **Year 100**_

 _ **Remnant**_ _has finally cooled down enough to the point it can support life._

 _Man._

 _My back is killing me._

 _Terraforming a planet is a lot harder than people make it out to be._

 _Nevertheless, I'm starting to see signs of life on this planet. Giant reptiles and birds make up most of the population and boy are they big. They range anywhere from half to fifty times the size of me!_

 _It's not fair~_

 _I don't wanna be short T_T_

 _Sigh. Oh well._

 _What should I name these creations?_

 _Hmm…_

 _How about_ _ **Dinosaurs**_ _? Has a nice ring to it…_

 _Yeah. I'll name these reptiles just that!_

* * *

 _ **Year 200**_

 _I have no idea what I'm doing._

 _They never gave me a manual!_

 _Ughhh._

 _The_ _ **Dinosaurs**_ _have been pretty boring. All they do is eat, sleep, poop, and then fight. I want to create some humans but I know they've be dead the moment they arrive on this planet. And if they do survive, what then?_

 _I'm a new goddess for crying out loud!_

 _I don't know how to take care of humans! I can barely take care of myself!_

 _Ughhh. I need vacation. Or at least some help._

…

 _Wait, I_ can _get help… Just have to build one of those_ _ **Gateway**_ _thingy into order to contact the other gods and goddesses for advice._

 _Well, I know what I'm doing for the next century._

* * *

 _ **Year 350, Day 4 [1]**_

 _Building the_ _ **Gateway**_ _took longer than expected but it's finally done! Now, I can get in contact with the others and ask for help. I just hope they answer…_

 _Taking care of a planet is actually a test in itself for all new gods and goddesses in order to see if we got what it takes to join the big leagues. Of course, we had to do things on our own through trial and errors; however, it never said that we can't ask for help._

 _Of course, asking for help make it seem as though you're an incompetent. Basically, if you ask for help, you forfeit your pride. That's how most gods and goddesses quickly fail the task set before them._

 _They grew egos and believed they could do everything on their own._

 _As for me, I couldn't care less about pride. I just want some help to complete this task!_

 _Ok I'm starting the_ _ **Gateway**_ _. Please answer…_

…

…

 _Errr, is the machine supposed to frizzle?_

…

 _Why is it making a weird noise?..._

…

 _Why is there an enormous surge in energy?!..._

…

 _Oh shit._

* * *

 _ **Year 350, Day 10**_

 _That could have gone better. Well, guess I'm on my own now. That shockwave that the explosion created was something I've only seen in movies! Part of the moon gone now and its fragments are now floating around in space! Some of the pieces managed to enter_ _ **Remnant's**_ _atmosphere and caused a shockwave which wiped out the_ _ **Dinosaurs**_ _!_

 _Goddammit._

 _The paperwork I have to do…_

 _Oh why does all the bad things happen to me~_

 _Tears._

* * *

 _ **Year 350, Day 20**_

 _Well crap._

 _It's seem that explosion I caused managed to wake up the other participant in this test._

 _You didn't think I was alone did you? 'Good vs Evil' concept remember? I mean, hello?!~~_

 _Anyways, I believe it to be just us two divine beings on this planet, no other gods or goddesses are here. With that in mind, the choosing of our_ _ **Champions**_ _should happen sometime in the future in order for this test to end. How well we do against our opposition is also a part of the evaluation._

 _Hopefully, I won't lose so soon._

* * *

 _ **Year 360**_

 _The only good thing that came from that explosion 10 years ago was the appearance of humans. Don't ask me how an explosion created them. I'm not getting paid enough to answer that question. Nevertheless, humans are finally on_ _ **Remnant**_ _! It's about time too. I hope they don't mind the fragmented **Moon** …_

 _In my defense, it was a total accident I swear!_

 _Still, I haven't heard or seen anything from the other participant. I wonder what they're planning…_

 _Oh, I never mention which role I got did I? I'm on the side of Good this time which means the other divine being, whom I have yet to meet, is on the side of Evil._

 _Yay… First planet and already I have an enemy. How fun…_

* * *

 _ **Year 450**_

 _Damn._

 _It looks like the other participant has the ability to summon minions. These creatures are black in color with white armor and glowing red eyes._

 _I call them the_ _ **Creatures of**_ _ **Grimm**_ _._

 _They're soulless creatures made to wipe out humanity. Sadly, the humans weren't equipped to handle those monster effectively. I just hope they managed to uncover those_ _ **Dust**_ _crystals buried beneath the planet. Lucky for them, I decided to interfere before the human race was wiped out. Since my opponent has showed their hand, it time I show mine as well._

 _The Defender of Human, my chosen_ _ **Champions**_ _, are those with_ _ **Silver Eyes**_ _. These warriors have many abilities, one of which is the power to kill the **Grimm** by just looking at them._

 _Hopefully, with them thrown in the battle, balance will be restored._

 _I just hope they survive long enough._

* * *

 _ **Year 480**_

 _There are good news, and there are bad news._

 _The good news is humanity discovered_ _ **Dust**_ _and were able to drive back the creature of darkness. It seems the_ _ **Silver Eyed Warriors**_ _, my_ _ **Champions**_ _, were able to turn the tides of battle. Good for them. And it seem one of them had made a name for himself. They called him the_ _ **Wizard**_ _. Last I heard, he gave four young girls a part of his powers. They're known as the_ _ **Maidens**_ _, girls with powers that are almost magic-like._

 _Go girl power!_

 _The bad news, however, is during my encounter with the other participant, I was vastly overwhelmed. Their power greatly surpassed my own, especially in their final form. I barely escaped with my life._

 _Though, even if I, or they, did died, we would have gone directly to the_ _ **Divine Hall**_ _where the other gods and goddesses would have gone over with the results with us. After that, depending on the evaluations, we could either move on or have to stay behind and practice some more._

 _I don't want waste more time studying! I want to explore and create things! So yeah. I have to give it my all._

 _Oh. I forgot to mention another thing. Additionally, the other participant managed to instill a part of their corrupted powers inside of me, thus is turning me into one of their pawn. Yay…_

 _Well, not pawn. I'm apparently too valuable for that. What they're trying to do is make them their_ **Champion** _. It's ingenious and I'm ashamed I didn't think of that sooner. Another divine being as a_ _ **Champion**_ _… Sigh. This is why I need the practice and the test._

 _Anyways, I have bigger problems to worry about. I can feel their powers inside of me, corrupting my thoughts and twisting my perspective on the world. Every day, I feel myself slowly swaying toward the dark side, unable to turn back. The humans… my last views on them have not been pleasant._

 _I don't know how long I can last before I lose myself to the darkness. I'm changing, both physically and mentally._

* * *

 _ **Year 550**_

 _Well now. This is certainly a surprise. Never thought I'd stumble upon this diary again. After reading what my past self has written, I'm disgusted I was once like her. I regret ever helping the humans, especially aiding them in the form of those_ _ **Silver Eyed**_ _ **Warriors**_ _. They should have been wiped out long ago but no, my idiot former self decided to help them._

 _How revolting._

 _And now, my partner and I are left cleaning up this mess. Of course, we will only reveal ourselves when the time comes. And trust me, now is nowhere close. Humanity has yet to reach a point that we'll ever consider them a threat, even with these so-called_ _ **Hunters**_ _. Our **Grimm** minions are more than enough to put up a challenge. Until they overcome them, humanity will never see our faces._

 _But you know, not all humans are disgusting. I recently found myself a pawn. Truthfully, she's only around because I found her… amusing. She's known throughout_ _ **Remnant**_ _as the_ _ **Queen**_ _._

 _Oh the irony._

 _I can see why gods and goddesses always interfere in human lives. Humans are truly an interesting lot. Well, a few of them. The rest are merely pests._ _ **Ozpin**_ _is one such creature that come to mind. He might just be our greatest threat._

 _Oh how I can't wait to see him burn._

 _Hmm. Speaking of burning, I might destroy this diary after this but who knows. This might just play an important part in the future. And we could use the entertainment. Hmm. It seems my former idiotic self never wrote who she was._

 _What an incompetent._

 _To those that have read this diary, beware. The end is near._

 **\- Salem**

* * *

 **AN:** Meh. That probably made zero sense so I'll clear a few things up.

As you know, there's some theory concern who Salem is and all that good stuff. This is my take on who she is. Basically, Salem is formerly a good person but the other divine being on Remnant managed to corrupt her and turned her to the Salem we saw in the end of _RWBY Volume 3_.

Everything else about the whole gods, goddesses, test, planets, and whatnot was something I came up and decided "why not? It would explain how Salem ended on Remnant and got turned evil." It's certainly interesting though. Gods and goddesses are being… gods and goddesses. Life is a giant board game. We're the pieces, they're the players. That's the point I'm getting across with the entries. Divine interferences.

The years and days just describe the timeline. Probably unrealistic but hey, world of magic so anything can happen.

Yes, the diary entries you've been reading all this time was written by Salem herself. My own take on her personality and stuff. Though in all honesty, the **bold texts gave lots of hints on who it was as well as list some historical events.**

 **[1]** **Year 350** is when the explosion happened. An explosion in an experiment usually results in something happening, like in those movies we all watched. In this case… *cough* read the story summary *cough*


End file.
